“This was going to end in a beautiful baby or a restraining order never to be spoken about again”.
Looking again, New Zealand woman Cee Rainey totally appreciates the enormity of the choice she made again in 2017.
Single and in her 40s, she was writing a message to a man she dated 20 years prior.
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A person she hadn’t seen since then.
Summoning all her braveness she typed, backspaced, and typed once more – not understanding if she’d ever obtain a reply to crucial query she’d ever posed.
Would he develop into her sperm donor?
Two a long time earlier and 18,000km away from residence, Cee had first laid eyes on Damien.
The then 21-year-old had moved from New Zealand to London when she was launched to her flatmates’ mates on the pub.
“This tall very handsome man comes up with a few others and that was it… breath taken away,” Cee tells 7Life.
“Then he spoke… every girl loves an Irish accent. He had such kind eyes too and eyelashes like a calf.”
Irish-born Damien made the transfer to London and immediately linked with Cee, however the pair buried their emotions.
After three months of hanging out socially, the opposite members of the group concocted a plan.
“They managed it by organising a night out at a bar and no one but him and I turned up,” Cee tells 7Life.
The blatant set-up proved profitable with the pair lastly admitting they cared deeply for each other.
A two-year relationship adopted, however then the cracks began to indicate.
Cee says she skilled “seesawing hormones” associated to her menstrual cycle and her and Damien’s hopes for the longer term started to diverge.
While Cee was eager to journey for a whereas, Damien wished to quiet down in Ireland.
Eventually, the connection crumbled and Cee booked a journey to Africa, after which she deliberate to return to New Zealand.
What had been a stunning romance was over.
Still mates, the day earlier than Cee left, Damien inspired her to get medical recommendation about her hormones.
“After a series of tests was told I had severe endometriosis. That having a baby would be very hard,” Cee says.
The finish of a dream?
Immediately it felt as if her future had been ripped away.
“As a nanny, children were everything to me and I wanted lots,” Cee says.
“So to be told that that might not be a possibility especially as I was leaving the UK and would have to start all over again with treatment in New Zealand was devastating.
“Plus I had just broken up with the guy I thought was going to be the father of my children.”
Outside her appointment, Cee cried hysterically into Damien’s arms.
And then he made her a promise.
“He said to me, once I had calmed down, that I would be a great mother, not to worry, and that in years to come if I hadn’t found anyone that he would be honoured to have a child with me,” Cee says.
As Cee left for Africa, the pair promised to remain in contact – but it surely wasn’t to be.
Damien went on to begin a relationship and shortly had a baby on the way in which.
With the change in circumstances, the previous lovers minimize ties.
It was one other three years earlier than Cee heard Damien’s voice once more.
She was again visiting mates in London when a cellphone was handed to her.
It was Damien and he revealed he simply had his second son.
While Cee hadn’t dated within the years following their break up, she knew it was time to maneuver on.
In time, Cee met and married one other man, though she stored a ring Damien had as soon as gifted her.
And whereas Cee’s marriage later broke down, her craving to develop into a mom by no means waned – whilst she reached her 40s.
“I had been looking after everyone else babies for 20 plus years,” Cee says. “Single parenting was not ideal but if anyone could I could.”
The seek for a sperm donor
That’s when Cee’s seek for a sperm donor started – but it surely was costly, impersonal and he or she simply didn’t need a stranger fathering her little one.
“I wanted to say to my child that I had loved or at least known their father,” she says.
Months later Cee was flicking by an outdated photograph album, again in New Zealand with her dad, when she got here throughout a photograph of Damien.
Her coronary heart skipped a beat.
“I thought of his promise and figured why not ask,” Cee says.
On Facebook, she found Damien was now a divorced father of three and so she discovered the braveness to ask crucial query of her life.
“Hi, long time no speak,” Cee wrote in a message.
“I want to have a family and I wanted to ask if you remember a promise you made me many years ago?
“I want to say that I knew my child’s father and loved them. what do you think?”
And after a week of radio silence, Damien replied and Cee says time “melted away”.
“We spoke for days without mentioning the elephant in the room.”
Then lastly Damien addressed it.
“About this baby… of course, I’ll do it because it is you.”
Cee’s coronary heart melted as he added “and I’m going to spend the next nine months getting you to fall in love with me again.”
A love rekindled
For months the pair spoke over the cellphone earlier than lastly assembly up.
They then threw themselves into a barrage of checks and IVF appointments.
Cee and Damien slowly started rekindling their love.
And after their first IVF process, Cee was met with two pink strains indicating a optimistic consequence.
Twelve weeks into her being pregnant, Cee made the transfer to Damien’s residence in Ireland.
A month later, he requested her to marry him and Cee mentioned “yes”.
“I got my heart’s desire in one package,” Cee says including she couldn’t imagine her sperm donor was about to develop into her husband.
And in 2018, the pair welcomed a beautiful baby woman named Aoife.
With Damien’s three boys, the household of six is now full.
“Aoife is the glue that joins us all together as she is the light of all of our lives. Her brothers adore her,” Cee – who has revealed a guide about motherhood referred to as All the Small Things – says.
In 2019, Damien and Cee married in New Zealand.
“I went from wanting a family (and) a full house, to four kids almost overnight and a wonderful loving husband,” Cee says.
“They were a family without a mum, I was a mum without a family.
“We were missing puzzle pieces.”
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