England v New Zealand: second Test, day two – live!

Time for a fast sandwich, again shortly.

114th over: New Zealand 412-5 (Mitchell 128, Bracewell 5) With three balls to go, Pope is available in at quick leg. The final ball is edged, however safely, and that’s lunch, with the session, and the match, firmly within the palms of New Zealand.

113th over: New Zealand 411-5 (Mitchell 127, Bracewell 5) Bracewell safely ignores a Stokes over.

112th over: New Zealand 411-5 (Mitchell 127, Bracewell 5) A Leach maiden as we method lunch.

“Hi Tanya.” Hello there, Jeremy Boyce.

“Totally agree with Uma (96th over), but she was simply modernising old knowledge, for instance…a watched kettle never boils, the best way to get the bus to come is to walk to the next stop (it will come when you’re half way between), a much-needed wicket is never taken. It’s a similar principle to the one where, when you’re hanging on the phone listening to some company’s muzak, the best way to get them to answer is to fill your mouth with food, they will answer 2 seconds later.”

“So, can I suggest we all stop reading/listening to/watching the action for 10 minutes so Jimmy can bag a hat-trick ?”

111th over: New Zealand 411-5 (Mitchell 127, Bracewell 5) The crowd have gotten the bit between their enamel now, urging Stokes on as he kilos in. Bracewell is overwhelmed, and comes inside a string of dental floss of chopping on, earlier than sending Stokes spinning off his pads for 4.

Flintoff’s large bucket palms additionally get a shout out from Tom King:

a hundred and tenth over: New Zealand 406-5 (Mitchell 127, Bracewell 1) Reward for Leach, who will get an enormous large from a pumped-up Stokes, who took that catch working backwards. An outstanding partnership of 236, New Zealand’s highest for the fifth wicket. Michael Bracewell walks in on debut, and nudges a nerve-relieving single.

Scott O’Brien has a fantasy England slip cordon: “I’m not sure I could name a collective group, but anything with Thorpe, Hick and/or Flintoff would be up there in the time I’ve been watching.”

WICKET! Blundell c Stokes b Leach 106 (New Zealand 405-5)

109th over: New Zealand 405-4 (Mitchell 127, Blundell 106) Easy pickings as eight are milked off Stokes.

100 for Tom Blundell!

107th over: New Zealand 388-4 (Mitchell 126, Blundell 9a) A pause whereas Blundell’s finger is seen to by a physio, then Stokes comes on for the primary time at the moment. He instantly makes issues occur as Blundell has a wafty drive and misses utterly. Some terrific fielding by Anderson cuts off a possible boundary as he launches himself at mid-off like somebody heading onto a slideaway (don’t know if these nonetheless exist.) Mitchell completes issues with a wacky throw-the-bat effort over mid-on for 4.

106th over: New Zealand 382-4 (Mitchell 121, Blundell 90) Good fightback by Leach with a maiden.

one hundred and fifth over: New Zealand 382-4 (Mitchell 121, Blundell 90) Blundell picks up one off Potts to achieve the nineties – can he go 4 higher than Lord’s and make three figures?

104th over: New Zealand 381-4 (Mitchell 121, Blundell 89) Mitchell sweeps Leach for a morale-destroying boundary.

On Sky, Atherton mentions that Nasser Hussain had obtained a textual content message from Mark Waugh saying that England’s slip cordon had been standing too shut collectively. They present a clip from the magnificent Australian cordon of the 90s: Mark Taylor, Mark Waugh, Shane Warne. Has there ever been a greater cordon than that? What is England’s best slip cordon?

103rd over: New Zealand 376-4 (Mitchell 117, Blundell 88) Mitchell rubs salt into the wound with successive boundaries off Potts, one an edge to rattle up the 200 partnership; the opposite a Pimms-slurping drive via mid-off. “Excuse me Mr umpires, any chance of a ball change?” “Get lost.”

102nd over: New Zealand 368-4 (Mitchell 109, Blundell 88) Oh expensive. Mitchell fires Leach down the bottom, mistimes it, and by some means Potts working around the boundary doesn’t get to it – I feel it brushes his finger ideas earlier than hitting his knee and rolling over the rope. Poor Potts seems crestfallen. As does Leach. Mitchell is open-mouthed in shock.

one hundred and first over: New Zealand 363-4 (Mitchell 104, Blundell 88) Potts is bustling, robust as an ox, bracelets on his left wrist, and joyfully uninhibited as he directs the sector from the highest of his mark . Mitchell is frisky, frees his arms in an try to ship Potts down the bottom however solely fires it into the bottom. The crowd are comparatively subdued, ready for wickets, however are rewarded solely by one other high-elbowed Blundell boundary. And that’s drinks, with the primary half of the morning going to New Zealand.

one hundredth over: New Zealand 358-4 (Mitchell 103, Blundell 84) Blundell has it in for Leach, stepping in direction of him and letting fly, simply south of Zac Crawley’s nostril , via the covers for 4.

99th over: New Zealand 354-4 (Mitchell 103, Blundell 80) Potts, Anderson and Stokes mutter magic spells in a huddle. A maiden topped by a final ball magnificence which screams between Mitchell’s bat and pad band into the gloves of Foakes.

98th over: New Zealand 354-4 (Mitchell 103, Blundell 80) Blundell takes a leaf out of Mitchell’s e-book as he prices Leach and sends him flying to the mid-on boundary for 4. Crawley prevents one other.

100 for Daryl Mitchell

96th over: New Zealand 342-4 (Mitchell 96, Blundell 75) Time for spin. Jack Leach bowls a practise ball, then strides in. A maiden, with speeds various between 53 and 58mph for many who wish to examine with Parkinson, whose pace has been always within the highlight since his debut at Lord’s.

“Morning,” Hello Tom VD Gucht. “I’m coming to the point of sporting desperation where I flick through the different websites checking the score in the hope that when one of them refreshes, it will bring a wicket. It’s very similar to Uma Thurman’s approach to going tot he toilet in the restaurant and finding your food waiting for you when you return.”

ninety fifth over: New Zealand 342-4 (Mitchell 96, Blundell 75) Jimmy finds a little bit of life within the pitch and Mitchell is pressured to spring his hand away from the bat deal with. But Mitchell strikes again, advancing right into a pull and whisking the ball away to the rope.

94th over: New Zealand 337-4 (Mitchell 92, Blundell 74) Swing from Broad. Blundell picks up a single, then Broad is foiled as he tries to sneak a yorker below Mitchell’s bat. Stokes tries once more to get the ball modified, and the umpires undergo the motions earlier than handing it again.

93rd over: New Zealand 334-4 (Mitchell 90, Blundell 73) A really beneficiant ball from Anderson arrives at Mitchell’s hip and he nudges it all the way down to the rope, thanks very a lot, to maneuver into the nineties. England attempt the umpires for a brand new ball, but it surely passes via the callipers, so Anderson ploughs on. A blue sky speckled with puffy clouds presides over Trent Bridge

92nd over: New Zealand 330-4 (Mitchell 86, Blundell 73) Some rotten information for Stuart Broad this morning after a fireplace destroyed a big a part of the pub he co-owns with Harry Gurney final night time. Just one from his over.

Thank you to Brian Withington, “Phil Keegan’s contribution reminds me of the trusty old onomatopoeia joke – the one where two friends get separated at a fun fair and one of them shouts down plaintively to the other from the very top of the Helter Skelter. It’s the way I deconstruct them …”

91st over: New Zealand 329-4 (Mitchell 85, Blundell 73) Anderson is busy, bustling in. Mitchell picks up three via the covers, earlier than Anderson has an lbw attraction that’s taking place leg.

An e mail lands from Finbar Anslow “Am recovering from a knee replacement so please cancel me as a possible concussion sub. A couple of questions, I have a theory that people who haven’t actually played much cricket, like myself, when dreaming about the game tend to dream they’re playing brilliantly, so logically people with experience would tend to dream of a nightmare performance. Does that stand to reason?”

ninetieth over: New Zealand 326-4 (Mitchell 82, Blundell 73) The wind gusts and Broad’s hair blows upwards like cress rising out of a boiled egg shell. Blundell leans into a large one and cuts skilfully throught the slips for 4. A few candy inswingers deliver no reward.

89th over: New Zealand 320-4 (Mitchell 82, Blundell 67) Anderson picks up the place he left off yesterday – although, as they level out on the radio, he and Broad have switched ends. A contact of swing and its a maiden.

88th over: New Zealand 320-4 (Mitchell 82, Blundell 67) Stuart Broad it’s, white headband Rambo model throughout his brow, the butter-fingered slips with palms of their pockets because the wind blows throughout them. Just a single from it.

The first bell of the day tolls on the OBO:

The anthems are blasting out and Jimmy Anderson repeatedly throws a seashore ball on the bottom.

Yesterday England dropped 4 catches – can they make amends at the moment.? We get to observe these drops in full, although Graeme Swann says it is extremely tough to catch within the slips at Trent Bridge because the solar is setting.

I discovered this stat from final 12 months – Lord’s now looks like an aberration.

And a few leftover cricket and philosophy jokes:

Tom Morgan: “What does the philosophers XI do when the ball’s old?
They turn to Spinoza.”

and Phil Keegan: “I don’t have any philosophy jokes but I do have some phonology jokes if anyone is interested, which probably only fellow English teacher trainer nerds are. Anyway:“How do you contact a French phonetics expert? Phone – ihm. Actually I am not sure this works in print. You have to say ‘phoneme’ with an exaggerated French stress on the second syllable. I’ll get me coat.”

Just to shine off a few of yesterday’s emails, whereas Ian Ward (not so nicely ironed) talks to Chris Woakes about his run-up.

A shout out to Mike Brearley from Colum Fordham “The most obvious intellectual amongst the cricketing fraternity that springs to mind is Michael Brearley. He has a PhD in philosophy from St John’s Cambridge and used his astute mind to captain England back in the late 1970s and bring in helmets for batters He became a leading psychoanalyst

“He came to play an Old Boys’ match back in 1986 when I was an undergraduate and came across as a thoroughly nice guy. I managed to have him caught off my offspin which is my only cricketing claim to fame.”

A cultured gesture by New Zealand:

On Sky, Chris Woakes and Simon Doull are speaking about bowling. Woakes has on essentially the most immaculately ironed garments I’ve ever seen – kudos to the Sky wardrobe division.

Preamble