There are many joys concerned in moving home right here in Denmark.
Arriving at against the law scene
The greatest one greets you the second you casually stroll into your new home. Because press the sunshine change and also you’ll stay in complete darkness.
You search for, puzzled, solely to see that the sunshine becoming has gone. Not the sunshine bulb. The becoming itself. The entire factor. The cable has been pulled out of the ceiling and now there’s a gap with some mysterious dangerous-looking electrical part hanging out.
It is as if you have got arrived at against the law scene, the place each attainable piece of proof in the homicide case has been taken away for examination.
Reading by phonelight
What sort of sadist takes the sunshine becoming? Everyone apparently! It is a improbable custom enabling electricians to make a good-looking packet, whereas everybody else is totally pissed off in the darkish. And while you ask Danes why they take the cables from the ceiling, they merely reply: “Because there won’t be any at the new apartment.”
It’s time to ascertain a brand new rule of etiquette: go away the lights in the ceiling the place they belong! Let us finish this insanity and restore some sanity to a chaotic world. There is already sufficient stress when moving, with out throwing costly electricians and depressed households into the combo. “Please can we read a bedtime story in my new room?” “Yeah maybe, but we’ll need to use the dim torch from my iPhone because someone stole the lights.”
Who wants an alarm clock?
Electrical lighting is one pleasure, pure gentle one other. Because the curtain rails will in all probability even be lacking, unscrewed from the partitions and sitting in Storskrald someplace.
And even when they’re nonetheless there, most Danes have tissue paper curtains. So many instances I’ve stayed with associates and awoken on the crack of daybreak as the sunshine penetrates the thin bits of material adorning the window. I’ve by no means understood how folks can sleep in a room crammed with daylight: does this not violate some elementary human want?
But don’t fear, you’ll be in mattress when it’s darkish and up once more with the dawn – very like life in the 1800s.
A real take a look at of friendship
The etiquette round moving additionally strikes into the friendship circle. There is not any take a look at extra strenuous than being requested to assist somebody transfer.
The first query all of us beg to know is “Which floor?” and the second: “Is there an elevator…?” Because the upper the ground the extra painfully the friendship shall be examined.
“Fifth floor and no elevator? When was it …, oh next Saturday? I’m actually… not even in Denmark that day…”
Then, on the danger of being seen on Saturday you rush to the Ryanair web site to discover a final minute deal to De Kanariske Øer. Failing that, you’ll be able to subsist on Wolt deliveries whereas spending the entire weekend photoshopping your self onto generic vacation snaps.
Dealing with indignant mother and father
Finally, nothing is extra joyous than the demand from the Borgerservice that you just inform them, inside 5 days, that you’ve moved. Like an indignant mum or dad, they completely insist you inform them the place you might be with no delay.
Of course, you overlook. You are nonetheless unpacking packing containers as a result of the bag of important gadgets is lacking: the sunshine fittings! And it doesn’t assist that you just really feel exhausted from sleeping on an unbuilt IKEA mattress in broad daylight after climbing numerous flights of stairs, moving in by yourself.
It’s comprehensible that you just’ve fully forgotten the federal government is livid with you.
An finish to the insanity!
So, allow us to begin afresh with a brand new daybreak!
Black out all of the curtains, put everlasting lights in all of the rooms, set up an elevator in each constructing and make a gentleman’s understanding that we’ll replace our deal with on Borger.dk when now we have the f*cking time.
It may even guarantee a peaceable future that brings some pleasure to the insanity of moving.
The joys of moving home in Denmark & More Latest News Update
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